Asshole Breakup Game

This happened in late March of this year, I’ve been so distracted with work and the mistake of allowing the prev girl back in that I’ve avoided writing. Work is still great, but I’ve got more idle time on my hands now (know what I mean?? ) so I’ve been wanting to get back to writing more.

If you want to be a total asshole when you break up with a girl, here is your strategy. I’ve been wanting to post this for awhile. Working on a write up about the naming of “mother of the year” that she got during an epic fail. I give all the girls I date nicknames or Indian names as a way to tease them or neg them about weaknesses that they should be doing better at.

So MOTY catches feelings after about 3 months of dating, and gets into tears after making me dinner at my house one night (horrible cook, but appreciated the effort) admitting that she is attached.

Over dinner she tells me that she knows I’m fucking others and is ok with it, but she wants only me, pledges me her commitment (…right now) etc. I just want to date, she knows this.

Weekend before I’d had a fuck buddy over, Latina, big ass. MOTY has a banging thin body on her with that young boy ass. No gym, but a surprisingly great body for late 40’s. The extra stuff from being a wine girl. I wasn’t planning on banging the Latina that night, but I’d run across her in a bar well hammered at the hotel in the wine town across the river, and since I know the Latina can’t drive so I drag her home expecting her to just pass out because she is hammered. My buddy is with me, and I’d been trying to line up the 3 way/train.

But no, after I roll her into my bed figuring she’ll be gone in a few seconds it turns out in her drunken state she wants the D. Meh, don’t like fucking drunk girls. She wakes up in the am and leaves her bejeweled panties at the foot of my bed before I drive her back to the hotel and her truck. I have no clue. Couple of days later the dinner incident happens.

So after getting the “I got feelz” conversation trying to lock me down, I think about what I want to do with MOTY, and I decide I don’t want to deal with the hurt feelings she’ll get if I keep her but keep fucking my others. Low drama for me, alway. She’s left a dress at my house. Girls do this shit.

So I call her to talk with her about her desire for commitment, and I explain that I can’t do this, that I’ll hurt her and I don’t want to do that. She immediately launches into the “I’m breaking up with you before you can break up with me” script and all the you can fuck whoever you want goes right out the window during the conversation – I need commitment, I want someone monogamous, and I laugh inside at the irony of “right now”.

So I tell her I’ll return the dress by mail to her, you can prob see where this is going. So I hunt around my room, find the dress in the closet but I look for other stuff that she might have left lying around and I find the Latina’s chonies laying just under the bed. Honest mistake, I put both the chonies and the dress into a mailer package and mail them back thinking this is all done with.

2 days later when my package arrives at her house my phone gets lit up with texts from her. “whose big ass panties are these? they are not mine”. me, thinking: “dafuq? …. oh… shit, the Latina’s” I put MOTY on ignore as things turn spiteful. Turns out via text that she’s actually tried them on, I was dying.

So if you want to fuck with them in a breakup then return a set of unknown sexy panties with any clothing you return to her when you drop her, this is major asshole game.

Give her the gift of never forgetting you.

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