I made this woman cry at the grocery store the other day, but I’m not a monster

Off for a weekend of fun, sleep, food and drinks – but “never too sloppy for sex” – with a girl I was introduced too and finally had a chance to meet just after New Years.

Had a great time on a very creative date. We hit it off nicely, and I wanted to see her again. Humor and looks are great girl game.

So we’re doing a fly-in weekend date this weekend to log more time together and see how things work with us, I’m looking forward to it. It feels like way too much way too fast, and for some reason it totally works for me. It seems like the right thing to do.

In preparation for the trip I realize condoms are in order.

This is new territory for me, I’m not much of a condom guy, but I totally get it, no problem. But this is going to be interesting – even more so now.

But I don’t have any. So onto the packing list they go.

I’m doing my last minute prepping around town late Wednesday afternoon, and I hit the grocery store for just enough veggies for dinner since I’m going to be on the road for awhile, so no cart/trolley needed.

I figure I’ll kill 2 birds here as I saunter over to the “Health and Beauty” isle since it’s right in front of me as I walk in the front door and condom myself up.

All sorts of new things that I’d never seen before on the shelf, I’m kinda mesmerized for a few minutes looking at all the packaging. And sexy lube too, oh my…

I make my selections, and now I’m the tall, handsome silver fox who is walking the rest of the store towards the produce section holding only a box of condoms and a box of lube.

I walk tall and own the moment. I get the the odd smile/grin here and there as I look people in the eye as we pass. Yes, I think, I’m “that guy”. I grab my veggies and head to checkout.

Quick scan of the open checkout lines and I make my choice.

Shorter middle aged woman, attractive enough, which is unusual in my town, is in front of me.

Jeans, sweatshirt, clearly dressing to avoid any attention. Not on her A game, but would probably clean up really nicely I’m thinking. And she is definitely a shorty, fun sized, kind of a fetish that I’ve always had. Put a short girl in a turtleneck and I melt. The visions just took over there, mmmm, anyhow…

She looks back at me, and I can tell by her face that she is clearly not having a good day, very sad eyes, not angry, just sort of a forlorn, sad look.

The single 6 pack of Lagunitas beer that is her purchase is sitting lonely by itself on the conveyor belt that confirms my initial read on her.

She looks up and smiles at me quickly through the sad eyes and she goes back up into her head, lost in her moment, face down and looking at the floor.

The belt moves forward, and now there is room for my things on the belt.

I throw the box of condoms, the box of lube, and the bag of veggies I bought for dinner onto the conveyor belt, putting the bar between the purchases.

She glances up absentmindedly, noting that something has gone on near her, and takes a quick glance at what I’m buying.

Does a double take, but doesn’t look at me

I can hear the sharp intake of breath, and the beginnings of a sob. Both hands go to her face and cover her eyes. I can see the wedding ring on her finger. I can hear her begin to softly cry, trying desperately not to, not to lose her shit in the middle of the store.

She works to regain her composure, quickly wiping her face off with both hands.

Twice.

I’m struck by the realization that I’m not exactly sure what you are supposed to say in this particular moment, so I say nothing.

But I feel horrible inside knowing in some way what must be going on inside of her, and that I set all this in motion because I chose this line.

The person in front of her finishes up paying the checker. And, like it’s been perfectly choreographed, she steps up.

The checker greets her without really looking up and asks nonchalantly, like they all do all day long: “hi, how are you” her: <voice cracks> hi.

At the sound of her voice he looks up with a concerned look on his face, but says nothing.

She pays for her beer, and I move up in line in our choreographed checkout dance.

I look at the checker as he is saying hello to me. He is looking his customer in the eyes this time, won’t make that mistake again, and I respond.

I look back to the doorway of the store in the direction she headed. But by that moment she is already gone.

My purchase takes all of 20 seconds, and I walk to the door.

I scan the lot as I walk towards my car, but I don’t see her.

It’s dark out now, the light changing from the time I entered.

I have no idea what I might have said to her if I did run across her. But I hope that she can be happy again soon.

And that next time its her man buying the condoms, because of her.

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